Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Black Male-Female Relationships: Let’s End The Civil War
As a black psychologist, I question how we can help turn our collective pain, as black men and black women, into something that works for the greater good of the community.
As a black man, I don’t believe black men hating black women, or vice-versa, is going to help end this Civil War, much less help us to thrive. With only 32% of our children being born into two family households, I don’t believe we have the luxury of sitting around trying to figure out who is to blame — truth be told, we both are to blame.
To turn those numbers around, we have to start to talk with each other, learn from each others’ pain, and start to figure out how to move from our current lose/lose situation and start to create a win/win.
Black men, I think it’s our charge to start the process of forgiving and leading positive change. We really don’t have a choice…don’t you agree that the 68% of children being born in one parent homes certainly deserve more attention?
My brothers, we are the best marketers in the world. Vitamin water, shoes, golf balls, music, even pants that fall off your butt — we can sell elevator shoes to giants, and make it in-vogue to wear them.
Why not promote our Sistas (and marriage to them)? If not us, then who? Personally, rather than continuing to contribute to this lose/lose situation, I’m willing to swallow any pain I may have felt a black woman cause me for the greater good and say let’s do better by each other in the future.
Let’s partner and make that future a brighter one for the next generation.
Dr. Shane Perrault,